Money Saving Deal

Juanita S asked:


I have been with this guy for 8 years. We are not married. He bought me a ring once about two or three years ago. We broke up for a month and he pawned it (shows how much he wanted to get married huh). Anyway, we have never ending problems. Am I being selfish. There’s a long list of thing that I have a problem with. I know I’m not perfect and that I could probably do some changes but…

it’s mostly money problems. THE BIG RELATIONSHIP BREAKER! We both work and make the same amount of money.I say we make the same, but I mean per hr. I take care of the bills and groceries so he gives me half of his check if that when he gets paid. We had an agreement for him to give me a certain amount every week. But that changed due to him not working some days during the week. (He works a construction type job) So most of the time he just gives me half of the paycheck, which is less than the agreed upon amount, but I can bend a little. Now we both have about the same amount of money left when the bills are paid. I’m a saver and like to spend my extra on things you can see. I can make a big purchase and not have to ask him for a dime and I don’t. He spends his he second it’s in his hands. He’s broke before payday. I **** going shopping because everytime I buy something he complains that I didn’t buy him anything or wines about it, or tells me I shouldn’t have bought it or finds something that he wants and asks me to buy it for him. If I don’t get it (most of the time I won’t), he gets upset and acts like a baby. I tell him all the time, he chose to spend his money on what he wants (mostly alcohol) and I spend mine on what I want. Clothes, jewelry, exercise machine, to name a few things. Am I being selfish?

Another thing is, he will lie about what he makes so he will give me less money. I caught him a few times lying and he will end up giving me what he was suppose to. If he is out of work, due to not having anything to do at his job, I take over the bills and groceries with no problem. At that time, I don’t have any extra money. I do this with no complaints. So why does he not want to hold to his end of the deal or lie about his checks. I have never in the eight years we have been together not worked for a few weeks or months at a time like he has. I always have a steady job and a steady pay check.

I want to buy a house one day, but he is unwilling to get a savings account to contribute to and save the money. So I have one, but can’t tell him because he will find something to spend it on. Am I wrong?

It’s like he’s jeolous, but he has the same opportunities I have. I helped him buy two cars, which are both gone because he wouldn’t keep insurance on them. I helped him get one out the pound for that reason. He has never helped me get a car. I keep all of my insurance and car payments up on mine. He won’t help with the car note because he said it’s mine. But he want’s to drive it. I have no problem with him not paying, it just means I don’t have to let him drive it. Am I wrong?

I can go on and on, but I’m afraid nobody will read til the end. Please give me some advise.

Jamaal